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Akiva Lane
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What did the magician do when he was very tired?

He drank coffee, and that did the trick.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Jill feel about finding the last missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle?

She felt it was her master piece.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Evelyn go to only one store in the mall?

She felt: You see one, you see the mall.

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Why was the hot dog happy?

Because it was on a roll.

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What did people call their activity of dashing things over the cliffs onto the rocks 100 yards below?

The hundred yard dash.

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What do people say when they think something you said is not funny?

Very funny.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call flies that are attracted to the smell of thyme?

Thyme flies.

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Why did Beth get so upset when there was only one straw left in the dining room, and someone else took it?

Because that was the last straw!

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Why did the CEO buy sailboats for the company?

He wanted to increase sails.

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Akiva Lane
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Why are all shopping malls very similar?

You see one, you see the mall.

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What does a big fine for drunken driving have in common with English grammar?

Sin tax.

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What is it called when a fusion nuclear reaction starts acting unpredictably?

Con-fusion.

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