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If the hole of a bagel is filled with black pepper, what is the result?

A black hole.

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Why was the bee punished?

Because it didn't bee-have.

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How did the pig feel when the other pigs in the pig-hole called him a 'square'?

He felt like a square pig in a round hole.

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What group of letters do planes fly over?

They fly over C's.

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How did Arnold react when he got the job as conductor of the orchestra?

It was music to his ears.

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How did Helvetica respond when someone suggested that she go out with Times New Roman?

He's not my type.

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How is a head cold similar to a lot of traffic?

They're both congested.

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What did Betty realize after she ate inexpensive cake that was fattening?

That she was penny wise and pound foolish.

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Why did Jim write a last will and testament?

Because where there is a will there's a way.

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Why is a pet lusion that seems to be sick not really sick?

Because it's an ill lusion.

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What kind of headlines do people not like to see?

The ones in their forehead, because it indicates worry and tension.

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What is similar about doctors' situations before and after they graduate from medical school?

First they need patience, and then they need patients.

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