Pictures:

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Can a person who complains all the time be a vegetarian?

No, because he always has a beef.

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How did cell phones get their name?

Because if we're not careful, they can imprison us.

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If you take a liter of water, and pour it out, what does it become?

Leaderless.

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Why did Martha feel bad for her calendar?

Because its days are numbered.

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How do you describe someone who pretends to eat something?

He's ingesting in jest.

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When did the mother of a newborn boy wake up?

At son rise.

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Why did Olivia put on a hat whenever she wanted to keep a secret?

Because she had to keep the secret under her hat.

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Why did Bill get arrested when he was boarding a plane?

In a loud voice he said 'Hi' to his friend Jack.

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Why was Walt Disney happy after visiting Mickey Mouse in the hospital?

Because he saw that Mickey was very animated.

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What is a good slogan for the Republican Party?

The elephant is relevant.

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What is a short description of what you did during the summer called?

A summery summary.

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How are governments sometimes similar to sunglasses?

Both of them can be polarized.

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