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How are vegetables different than kids?

Vegetables are bad when spoiled and good when fresh, but it's not good if kids are either fresh or spoiled.

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What do you call someone who is driven crazy by the ticking of a clock?

A luna-tick.

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Why did the police give the suspect a bowl of beans at the edge of the table?

They wanted him to spill the beans.

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What do you call birds who go to a house of worship?

Birds of pray.

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What did Marty say when he was saved by a lifeguard named Sam Bell?

"I was saved by the Bell".

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What's another way of saying that it seems that I have 4 pears?

It appears that I have a pair of a pair of pears.

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What kind of question is, 'What came first, the chicken or the egg'?

Its an egg-sistential question.

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What does a liquor store have in common with a crowded highway?

They both have bottlenecks.

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Why did Bob put some salt on everything he ate?

He was told to take everything with a grain of salt.

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What political system tries to make people calm?

Calm-unisim.

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What did Martha says when the box of cookies fell?

That's the way the cookies crumble.

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Why did Martha like circles?

Because it has the best all-around shape.

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