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How did the alien feel when trying to socialize with people?

Alienated.

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What does a surfer and new employee have in common?

They are both involved with on-boarding.

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What does the king of England have to do with writing a successful book?

They both involve royalties.

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Why do violinists put rosin on their violin bows?

It makes the violins rosin-ate.

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What are building blocks made from sim cards called?

Sim City.

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How do you describe the protesters living in tents in front of City Hall?

A tent city in a tense city.

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Why is K-OS not a good name for a computer operating system?

It sounds like Chaos.

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When Martha was quiet when she found out she was pregnant, what was that called?

A pregnant silence.

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What is the result if you combine a sweet pie and a sharp onion?

You get an O-PI-NION that is both sweet and sharp.

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Why did Trump remove the restrictions on plastic straws?

Because in terms of government intervention, it was the last straw.

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What con-man conquered a large part of Asia?

Genghis Con

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How did the Teddy Bear feel after dinner?

It felt stuffed.

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