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What can you say about the stories of how staples, paper-clips, and thumb-tacks were developed?

They are all fasten-ating.

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Why did Mr. Roberts take his key with an R attached, and put in on the upper hook on the wall?

He believed in the principle of higher R key.

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What is the difference between a person deciding what to eat, and then eating it?

The first step is to choose, and then he chews.

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What is someone called who tunes the instruments for an opera house?

An opera tunist.

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How do people sometimes feel when they are given the cold sholder?

Ice-olated.

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If you travel through many seas, what sea has the money?

The currency.

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Why was Linda afraid of using Chapstick?

Her pharmacist said it was lip bomb.

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Why did Milton Berle say he is going to stop turning around?

Because every time he turns around, another year goes by.

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What are the best schools to learn about intravenous feeding?

The IV league schools.

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What happens every year in the universe?

We celebrate its universe-ary.

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What is it called when something is discussed on X?

It is X-communicated.

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Is there general agreement that people are born with a desire to take whatever they want?

A greed.

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