Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What do you call a scientist whose funding got taken away?

A mad scientist.

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Akiva Lane
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How did they describe the situation where the band's bass players were drunk?

The basses were loaded.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Charlie so concerned when he found a hole in his bag of marbles that he never noticed before?

He thought that he might be losing his marbles.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Joey do when his mother said his bathroom towel was dirty, and he should throw it in the hamper?

He threw in the towel.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when you're on a boat and invite people to play and no one shows up?

You're not playing with a full deck.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did King Midas make a well?

He thought, I might as well.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the teacher feel about the dry-erase white board.

He thought it was remarkable.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when police do a search without a search warrant?

Un-warranted.

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When Jerry looked at his legs, how did he know that he was eating too much?

His calves had become cows.

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How did Melinda like the movie about sponges that live in the ocean?

She found it very absorbing.

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How did Sandra feel about half the numbers when she was learning arithmetic?

She thought they were odd.

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When Sir Edmund Hillary climbed Mount Everest in 1953, how did he feel?

He felt on top of the world.

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