Pictures:

Why did Alan make sure his deck wasn't empty when he played with his kids?

He wanted to make sure he was playing with a full deck.

1738

What is the difference between giving something away for free and charging a fee for it?

The letter R.

2234

How did Maxine feel when her stomach started crying because of the way she was eating?

She knew she had an upset stomach.

542

What happened when a tree doctor put the bark of an oak tree on a maple tree?

It didn't work, because he was barking up the wrong tree.

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What was it called when Pierre welcomed and praised his guests over a glass of wine?

French toast.

903

What does China and Turkey have in common?

They raise red flags.

1976

What letters are asleep?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ's

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Why did Matt guard his fence?

He didn't want anyone to take offence.

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Why did the singer stand on a key?

He didn't want to sing off key.

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Why didn't Bill like raquetball?

He thought it was off-the-wall.

132

What did the clock repairman say when you asked when the talking clock will be fixed?

Time will tell.

2321

Why did men find it difficult to understand what Abigail Terious was all out?

She was Miss-terious.

921