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What does a watch repairman have in common with turning a wheel left to right?

They are both clock wise.

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Why in the army do they avoid giving treats twice?

That would involve a re-treat.

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Can you believe someone who eats steak from a male cow?

No, because he is full of bull.

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What it is called when California hi-tech companies fool people in a ridiculous way?

Silly Con Valley

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Why are we held accountable for what we eat?

Because a person can choose what he chews.

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The order of what 2 syllables makes the difference between happy and sad?

Being upbeat is better than being beat up.

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How did Abigail respond when her husband suggested that they go camping in the winter?

The idea leaves me cold.

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What type of mystic has a positive view of the future?

An opti-mystic.

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What does a person say who lives in a suite of rooms in a hotel?

Home suite home.

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What is it called when lawyers make mistakes in the courtroom?

Trial and error.

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What are thick paper cups called when they are cold?

Hot cups.

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Why did John feel bad when he stopped dating?

Because he felt out of date.

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