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Akiva Lane
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When the truck spilled coffee grounds all over Marvin's lawn, what did his lawyer say?

"I think we have grounds for suing the truck company."

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Dan double the size of the pockets on his pants?

He was told that to afford everything, he needed deep pockets.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you say about the courtroom of Judge Alan Fier?

Each of his trials was a trial by Fier.

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Akiva Lane
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Why do we regard wine as special?

Because it is from de vine.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Betty so surprised when a blue car drove up and her friend stepped out?

Because it came out of the blue.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jerry fly in a plane when he had a cold?

When he felt under the weather, he wanted to go over the weather.

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Akiva Lane
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How is this feeling?

Wheely well.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Sam invest in the perfume company?

It made a lot of scents.

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Akiva Lane
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Why in the army do they avoid giving treats twice?

That would involve a re-treat.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the chiropractor say when he started working on a patient?

Welcome back.

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Akiva Lane
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How is a person and a car different?

A person who is tired moves slowly, and when retired more slowly. When a car is tired, it moves fast, and when retired even faster.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a jacket without curves?

A strait jacket.

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