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Why did Max pick up his glass of wine?

He wanted to lift his spirits.

516

Why did Jim's team always win the tug-of-war competitions?

They had a lot of pull.

3092

What rap singer also told puns?

Rapunzel

3201

What is the shadow of peapod called?

A podcast.

906

How do you describe Arnold getting new boots for his computer robots?

He rebooted the computer robots.

2272

Why did the prophet need glasses?

He was far-sighted.

2030

Why did the athlete's manager have him take trains instead of planes?

He felt he could use all the training he could get.

2719

How did Lisa feel when she found that someone had pressed all the buttons in the elevator?

She found it depressing.

864

Why are the Patriot missiles kosher?

Because they have fins and chew their scuds.

821

Why did Marla always start walking with her right foot?

She wanted to put her best foot forward.

365

What was Bill's reaction when someone approached him with a negative attitude?

He was non-plussed.

1686

What is someone called who lies about how much he eats?

Dish-onest.

1164