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What 3 letters do you have to be very cautious and wary of?

NME

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Why were socks sold in a plastic case that looked like a pear?

It was a pear of socks.

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Why do female sheep often have an identity crisis?

Because they think, "I am a ewe".

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Why did Bill always make sure he had enough reck with him?

He didn't want to be reckless.

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When the prices of houses go up, why do their roofs get weaker?

Because the prices go through the roof.

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What type of granite is always red?

A pomegranate.

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The order of what 2 syllables makes the difference between happy and sad?

Being upbeat is better than being beat up.

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What do you call someone who drives and flies a car-plane?

An auto-pilot.

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What did the therapist tell Francine?

Her problems were all in her head.

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Why did Bill get arrested when he was boarding a plane?

In a loud voice he said 'Hi' to his friend Jack.

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How is the metric system similar to a guy going on a date?

They both involve a 'meet her'.

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Where is restraint within us?

In hibitions.

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