Pictures:

What 3 letters do you have to be very cautious and wary of?

NME

2398

Why were socks sold in a plastic case that looked like a pear?

It was a pear of socks.

2336

Why do female sheep often have an identity crisis?

Because they think, "I am a ewe".

1892

Why did Bill always make sure he had enough reck with him?

He didn't want to be reckless.

3148

When the prices of houses go up, why do their roofs get weaker?

Because the prices go through the roof.

3267

What type of granite is always red?

A pomegranate.

2752

The order of what 2 syllables makes the difference between happy and sad?

Being upbeat is better than being beat up.

1620

What do you call someone who drives and flies a car-plane?

An auto-pilot.

1412

What did the therapist tell Francine?

Her problems were all in her head.

559

Why did Bill get arrested when he was boarding a plane?

In a loud voice he said 'Hi' to his friend Jack.

2943

How is the metric system similar to a guy going on a date?

They both involve a 'meet her'.

588

Where is restraint within us?

In hibitions.

1242