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Akiva Lane
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How did Bill feel when he searched for gold, and found a profitable iron mine?

He thought it was ironic.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone in a doctor's office that is in a hurry to see the doctor.

Im-patient.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the father tell his son who wanted to travel?

Roam wasn't built in a day.

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What do you say about someone who buys cheap candy that causes them to gain weight?

Penny wise and pound foolish.

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Why did Amy avoid dating men who publish magazines?

She found they often had issues.

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Why did the leopard go the empty parking lot and go from one parking space to another?

It wanted to prove wrong those said it couldn't change its spots.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when parents provide good guidance for their children?

Power steering.

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Akiva Lane
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Why should baggage with wheels not be called luggage?

Because it is wheeled and not lugged around.

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Akiva Lane
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What happened to Cynthia when she was in Hollywood and hit her head?

She saw stars.

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Akiva Lane
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What do shoes and noses have in common?

They both smell.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the can opener get its name?

Because it 'can' open things.

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Akiva Lane
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When Jeff asked his friend, "What is worse, ignorance or apathy?" how did his friend answer?

His friend answered, "I don't know, and I don't care".

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