Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Why did Amanda stare at gifts before opening them up?

Her friends told her she should focus more on the present.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a demonstration at a diner?

A counter-demonstration.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Billy feel when he blew out the candles on his birthday cake?

He was delighted.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you say about someone who travels with light beams stored in jars?

He packs light.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Sally afraid that the vegetables would slap her?

Because she knew they were fresh.

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Akiva Lane
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What is an example of a contact sport where nobody touches anyone else?

When people hide each others' contact lenses.

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Akiva Lane
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If you can get 100 somethings for a penny today, how sure can you be that this will be the price tomorrow?

One hundred per cent.

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Akiva Lane
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What is someone called who is wearing a racoon hat?

A tail bearer.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call and aunt that doesn't like people?

Aunt Tipathy

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What is the motto of someone who eats just a little too much?

Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we diet.

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Why did Marty not want to get rid of his old beat-up car?

Because then he would be wreck-less.

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Why didn't Joe buy the white horse when when he had all black horses?

Because it was a horse of a different color.

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