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What do people say when they think something you said is not funny?

Very funny.

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What mid-Western US city is named after small apples?

Mini-apples.

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How is a donkey being pulled similar to Mickey Mantle?

They are both yank-ees.

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How do we know that the ancient Egyptians were not honest?

They were into pyramid schemes.

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What do taxi companies and computer devices have in common?

They both use drivers.

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Why was Mike concerned about the liquids that he drank?

Because after he drank them, they were drunk.

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Why did Jerry Teck become a computer programmer?

Because people always said to him 'Hi Teck'.

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Where do boots go to rest and have fun in the summer?

Boot camp.

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Why did Arlene buy a rug?

She had some problems that she wanted to sweep under it.

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What is the shadow of peapod called?

A podcast.

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What is a group of people who share an interest in learning about and fixing electric fans?

A fan club.

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Why did the union leader start ironing his shirt?

Because he didn't want to strike until the iron was hot.

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