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Where are the remnants of Noah's Ark kept?

In the Arkive.

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What kind of key can make you drunk?

Whiskey.

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What day do armies go off to battle?

March forth.

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What do you call an ambulance for alligators?

Gator Aid.

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What do you say about someone who buys cheap candy that causes them to gain weight?

Penny wise and pound foolish.

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What time do people go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty.

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Why did the mother agree to carry her crying child?

To have a walking, crying child would be too pre-carry-us.

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What do you call a Hippopotomus that is a phony?

A hippo-crite.

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What bidding in the bridge card game do Democrats like?

No trump.

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What is a good name for a tanning salon for men?

Tan Gent.

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When Ellie Smith married Darth Vader why did she feel things were going up?

She became Ellie Vader.

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When the tree was cut down, why did it not know how to react?

It was stumped.

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