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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a son who agrees to set the table, and one that refuses?

The first is a setting son, and the second is an upsetting son.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Oliver sit on a ball in his office?

He wanted to show that he was really on the ball.

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Why did the loaf of bread feel insecure?

It felt kneady.

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What party did they have in the basement flea-market?

A cellar seller cele-bration.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Martha feel when she cut her vegetables into very small pieces?

Grate.

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Akiva Lane
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Who is not very good at match-making?

Smokey the Bear, because he doesn't like playing with matches.

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What's the motto of a clothing maker that encourages young men to wear vests?

Go vest, young man, go vest.

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Akiva Lane
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How is a head cold similar to a lot of traffic?

They're both congested.

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Akiva Lane
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How are banks like trees?

They both have branches.

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How did the Ukraine respond when Russia invaded in 2022?

"You can't rush in!"

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What did Joey do when his mother said his bathroom towel was dirty, and he should throw it in the hamper?

He threw in the towel.

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What do you call a hyphen that is the size of a football field?

A hundred yard dash.

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