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What postage is similar to a woman giving birth?

Special delivery.

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What did Fred say to the driver of the car that hit his car from the back?

You're a pain in the rear end.

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What is it called when the detergent is on the top shelf?

High Tide.

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Why did Jill buy a Jiffy car?

Because she wanted to go places and come back in a jiffy.

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What was the result of the pig race?

The winner squeeked by.

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Why did they hang the criminal?

He was looking for a loophole, and he found one.

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What do you call someone who used to be a pert?

An ex-pert.

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What has four wheels and flies.

A garbage truck.

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Where do you stay if you don't want to move?

You stay put.

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If the Allentown bank merged with Capital One bank, what would it be called?

Al Capone.

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What is a noun that makes money?

A pro noun.

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What is the motto of chiropractors?

We're got your back.

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