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How do we know that the ancient Egyptians were not honest?

They were into pyramid schemes.

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Why did Beth get so upset when there was only one straw left in the dining room, and someone else took it?

Because that was the last straw!

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What did Mr. electric eel says to Mrs. electric eel?

You look absolutely stunning!

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Why were socks sold in a plastic case that looked like a pear?

It was a pear of socks.

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Why did the police give the suspect a bowl of beans at the edge of the table?

They wanted him to spill the beans.

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What do you call and aunt that doesn't like people?

Aunt Tipathy

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What's high in the middle, and round at both ends?

The word Ohio.

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What do you say when you look at the ocean after a long time away?

Long time no sea.

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Why did Beverly learn knot tying?

She wanted to tie the knot, and get married.

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Why did Cynthia love her calculator?

Because she knew that she could always count on it.

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Why do people like peeling their own fruit?

Because if other people peel it, it has less appeal.

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What gift does the soccer player not like to receive?

He doesn't like ties, he prefers to get victories.

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