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Akiva Lane
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When did the mother of a newborn boy wake up?

At son rise.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Joe find it difficult to invest his money?

Because to him it didn't make cents.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Helvetica respond when someone suggested that she go out with Times New Roman?

He's not my type.

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How do you describe someone who has gotten use to being a little crazy?

Home on deranged.

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What type of granite is always red?

A pomegranate.

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Akiva Lane
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How is someone who falls similar to someone in debt?

They are both losing their balance.

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How did Billy feel when the cookies got smashed?

He felt crummy.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Andy drink the cup of tea that was left in the restaurant?

Because it wasn't his cup of tea.

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What is similar between slamming on the car brakes and baseball?

They both have a short stop.

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Akiva Lane
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What is an example of a ring that weighs nothing?

The ring of a phone or of a doorbell.

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How do we know that the Almighty is a baseball fan?

His first book starts, 'In the big inning'.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who lends money at very high interest rates?

A loan wolf.

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