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What was the result of the pig race?

The winner squeeked by.

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When Joe was very tired, why did he go to the police station?

Because he needed arrest.

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What do you call a hyphen that is the size of a football field?

A hundred yard dash.

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How did Angela feel when she saw a rattlesnake in the park?

She felt rattled.

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What kind of suit do you go into the water wearing?

A bathing suit.

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What can be said about people who work around the clock?

They are shiftless.

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How did Johnny feel when he spent all the pennies in his piggy bank?

It left him cents-less.

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Why don't they sharpen pencils at both ends?

What's the point?

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How did the elder people like the larger playing cards?

For them it was a big deal.

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What can you say about a broken drinking fountain?

It's out of order and out of water.

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What happened when the oil candle over Bill's bed fell on him while he was sleeping?

He woke up oily in the morning.

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Where do people who want to be smuggled across a border go to?

A flee market.

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