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Why did the people playing poker surround themselves with bushes?

They wanted to hedge their bets.

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What is an insect that hums?

Humbug.

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When Sharon found an old copy of Crime and Punishment, what was she holding?

A dusty Dostoevsky.

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How did the frayed knot answer when it was asked to do something?

It said, "I'm afraid not."

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What is it called when people argue about what to do with a rope?

This cord's discord.

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When one spouse says, 'I've had it up to here', what can the other spouse say?

What is 'it' and where is 'here'?

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How did Jack refer to the current day when he finished work?

He called it a day.

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If you can get 100 somethings for a penny today, how sure can you be that this will be the price tomorrow?

One hundred per cent.

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Why didn't Bill talk about his skin rash?

It was a senstive topic.

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What did Barbie's boyfriend tell her?

You're a doll.

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What do you call a theatre with chickens?

Fowl play.

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What are tests in cosmetic school called?

Make-up exams.

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