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How did the conversation go between a patient and the doctor who wanted him to cut down on mayonnaise?

Mayonnaise? No you may not.

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What animal does Niagara Falls remind us of?

Buffalo, because that's where Niagara Falls is.

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What does a party of hippies and a woman's hair brush have in common?

They both have a hair ball.

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How did people feel when the Eastern and Western railroads met?

They were glad to make ends meet.

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If you take a pleated skirt, and take the pleats out, what does it become?

Depleted.

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Why don't matadors take bulls seriously?

Because they know that they are full of bull.

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Why did Marsha like to read on the steps of the NY Public Library?

She believed that for meaning, you have to read between the lions.

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If a person was stranded on a desert island, what color would he find there?

Maroon.

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What are commas, periods, and question marks that are used in puns called?

Pun-cuation.

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What are the great-great grandparents of an ant called?

Ant-cestors.

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What can you learn from watching a pear tree grow?

You can learn more about how to pre-pear.

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Why did Joe race Fred to the punch-bowl at the party?

He wanted to beat him to the punch.

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