Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Why is it good to limit the amount of news you ingest every day?

It's not a coincidence that it's called De Press.

1943
Akiva Lane
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What is the different between a tree and an elephant?

A tree's trunk is its largest part.

1508
Akiva Lane
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When people asked Noah why he was building an ark, what did he answer?

Noah dea.

1513
Akiva Lane
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What do you call horses that live next to each other?

Neigh-bors.

176
Akiva Lane
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What can you say about an old couch that was fixed?

It was in bad shape, but now it's recovered.

32
Akiva Lane
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When did the mother of a newborn boy wake up?

At son rise.

1489
Akiva Lane
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What did Mr. electric eel says to Mrs. electric eel?

You look absolutely stunning!

3052
Akiva Lane
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What did the mountain climber call his memoire?

Cliff's Notes.

3034
Akiva Lane
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How do you talk to a pigeon?

Using pidgin English.

3225
Akiva Lane
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What do you call a doctor who prescribes a daiquiri cocktail flavored with hickory?

A hickory daiquiri doc.

416
Akiva Lane
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Did Betty know where her lost ring was?

Off hand, she didn't know.

1981
Akiva Lane
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What has one eye, no mouth, and everyone agrees that it always makes a good point.

A needle.

1591