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Akiva Lane
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What is an undercover cop's clothing called?

This guy's disguise.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a tax on things that people do wrong?

Syntax.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of insect has a name that indicates that it's always running away?

The flea.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Sandy sure that her daughter would become an actress?

Because every time she didn't get her way, she would make a scene.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the doctor's wife say when his new practice was slow?

You just need more practice in your new practice, and you need patience for more patients.

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Akiva Lane
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When Andy gave Meg the engagement ring, what playing card did Meg feel like?

The Queen of Diamonds.

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Akiva Lane
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When Mark heard his friend say 'I saw her in this dress', why did he get alarmed?

He thought he said, 'I saw her in distress'.

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Akiva Lane
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Why do people like peeling their own fruit?

Because if other people peel it, it has less appeal.

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Why didn't Joe like running at the track?

He felt like he was just running around in circles.

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Akiva Lane
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How is party different than a toy?

When a party winds up it ends, and when a toy winds up it starts.

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Akiva Lane
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When the patient said he had trouble with his memory, how did the doctor respond?

In that case, you pay me up front.

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Akiva Lane
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What do they say about the tree that was cut down because it no longer had leaves?

It was absent without leaves.

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