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Akiva Lane
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Who is this?

Gaucho Marx

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Akiva Lane
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What can you say about an old couch that was fixed?

It was in bad shape, but now it's recovered.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a good motto for a sausage company?

We make the best wurst.

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Akiva Lane
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What is similar between a tile salesman and a lizard?

One is a tile rep, and the other is a reptile.

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Akiva Lane
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What excuse can be used by a person who drinks too much?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the scan number on a box of cereal called?

Its cereal number.

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Akiva Lane
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When Martha was quiet when she found out she was pregnant, what was that called?

A pregnant silence.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a troop of soldiers with long hair?

The hair force.

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Akiva Lane
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When Jeff asked his friend, "What is worse, ignorance or apathy?" how did his friend answer?

His friend answered, "I don't know, and I don't care".

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of headlines do people not like to see?

The ones in their forehead, because it indicates worry and tension.

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Akiva Lane
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What does an art school and a store that sells bedroom dressers have in common?

They both have drawers.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a penthouse have in common with the lead article in a magazine?

They are both a cover story.

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