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Why did Marsha like to read on the steps of the NY Public Library?

She believed that for meaning, you have to read between the lions.

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What did the choir call their concert in May?

A May Sing.

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What is it called when a mystic is hopeful about the future?

Opti-mistic.

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What is it called when you use an Apple computer to cut through loads of information to find what you are looking for?

Mac the knife.

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Why did Sam look online for a site that sold scratch?

He wanted to build things from scratch.

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How did the vegetarians react when Melinda offered to bring sweet and sour chicken to the party?

They said, keep your two scents out of it.

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How did the horses feel when they were moved to a different stable?

They felt destabilized

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Why did Cynthia love her calculator?

Because she knew that she could always count on it.

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What's does track & field have in common with a Polish bank?

They both have Pole vaults.

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What is it called when you 'burn the midnight oil' to stay awake studying for midterm exams?

Term oil.

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Why did the bakery shoot their cake up in a rocket ship?

They want to say their cake is out-of-this-world.

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What kind of money can't be understood?

Non cents.

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