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Akiva Lane
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After his cold, why did Phil feel like a pony?

Becauses he was a little hoarse.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Andrea not want to take papers out of the file cabinet?

She was concerned that they might become defiled.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a cold part of South America?

Chile.

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Akiva Lane
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After Joe's dog Spot ran away, why was his house cleaner?

Because it was Spot-less.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the elephant that lived in Manhattan depressed?

It couldn't find work, so it felt ir-elephant.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jim put paper money into the stream?

His accountant said he needed better cash flow.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the midwife say to the woman starting to give birth?

Please bear with me.

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Akiva Lane
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How do people sometimes feel when they are given the cold sholder?

Ice-olated.

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Akiva Lane
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Do clothes hanging out to dry use the internet?

Yes, they're online.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Arthur try to convince his wife that money was very much in style?

Because she was spending it like it was going out of style.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Betty put things on the kitchen scale at 1pm for 9 hours?

She wanted to measure them on a scale from 1 to 10.

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Akiva Lane
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What seven letter word for a tree has all 5 vowels?

Sequoia

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