Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Why couldn't Alan sit in a chair when he worked?

He was a stand-up comedian.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the mountain climber call his memoire?

Cliff's Notes.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the loaf of bread feel insecure?

It felt kneady.

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Akiva Lane
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What word describes a variety of missiles?

Missile-aneous.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you summarize the difference between buying in a store or buying on the internet?

You're on line, or you're online.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the mother say to get her son to stop playing video games and come to dinner?

Step up to the plate.

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Akiva Lane
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Where are the remnants of Noah's Ark kept?

In the Arkive.

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Akiva Lane
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What did pregnant Emily and the library book she was reading have in common?

They were both due in September.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the baseball player have a family meal?

He sat at his home plate.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Jerry mind if his dog didn't tell the truth when the dog was asleep?

Because he let sleeping dogs lie.

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Akiva Lane
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What do the other animals think about the ant-eater?

That it is very nosey.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Bobby feel when he spilled a jar of olive oil on himself in the morning?

It was too oily in the morning.

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