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Akiva Lane
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After working for 40 years, why didn't Joe want new tires on his car?

He wasn't ready to re-tire.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Maxine toss a clock in the air?

She wanted to see time fly.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the seven dwarves have to go to work every day?

They explain it in their song, 'I owe, I owe, it's off to work we go".

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Akiva Lane
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What is a good ad slogan for the Grates metal company?

Get great grates at Grates grates.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the people playing poker surround themselves with bushes?

They wanted to hedge their bets.

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Akiva Lane
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When a man and a woman go on a date, how many kinds of dates are there?

Among others: accomodate, candidate, consolidate, elucidate, update, raindate, validate, inundate, and intimidate.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Bill's hitch-hiking trip go when nobody gave him a ride?

It went without a hitch.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the genie go to a psycho-therapist?

Because he felt all bottled-up.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the midwife say to the woman starting to give birth?

Please bear with me.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Martha feel about going back to work on Monday?

It was a weak day.

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Akiva Lane
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When does the weather need a therapist?

When it's raining like crazy.

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Akiva Lane
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What word describes a great car salesman?

He has car-isma.

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