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Akiva Lane
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Why did the mother agree to carry her crying child?

To have a walking, crying child would be too pre-carry-us.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when people hold that only their belief system is valid?

Pious bias.

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Akiva Lane
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If a window was put into the neck of the Statue of Liberty, what would it be called?

A pane in the neck.

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How did the head of the orchestra feel when he couldn't find people to play in it?

It was disconcerting.

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What is similar between estimates and baseball players?

They both involve ball park figures.

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What position in the armed forces is just below Marine?

Submarine.

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What do you get when you find someone you want to marry?

You get married.

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Akiva Lane
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What does superman use to keep the sun from his eyes?

A super visor.

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What can you say about someone who thinks he will make a lot of money playing dice?

He's in a fool's para-dice.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you say about the courtroom of Judge Alan Fier?

Each of his trials was a trial by Fier.

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What kind of doctor is specifically assigned to you?

Your-ologist.

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How did Alan charge his cell phone?

He paid for it with a credit card.

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