Pictures:

After his cold, why did Phil feel like a pony?

Becauses he was a little hoarse.

941

Why did Andrea not want to take papers out of the file cabinet?

She was concerned that they might become defiled.

2792

What is a cold part of South America?

Chile.

824

After Joe's dog Spot ran away, why was his house cleaner?

Because it was Spot-less.

1395

Why was the elephant that lived in Manhattan depressed?

It couldn't find work, so it felt ir-elephant.

3050

Why did Jim put paper money into the stream?

His accountant said he needed better cash flow.

1055

What did the midwife say to the woman starting to give birth?

Please bear with me.

1656

How do people sometimes feel when they are given the cold sholder?

Ice-olated.

2304

Do clothes hanging out to dry use the internet?

Yes, they're online.

1564

Why did Arthur try to convince his wife that money was very much in style?

Because she was spending it like it was going out of style.

1173

Why did Betty put things on the kitchen scale at 1pm for 9 hours?

She wanted to measure them on a scale from 1 to 10.

528

What seven letter word for a tree has all 5 vowels?

Sequoia

1679