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Akiva Lane
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Why are the Patriot missiles kosher?

Because they have fins and chew their scuds.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Andy feel when the skin doctor cancelled his apppointment?

He felt irritated.

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Akiva Lane
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How did John feel when his alarm clock woke him up?

He found it alarming.

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Akiva Lane
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Are outsiders allowed into the room called the 'well' in the Justice Department?

No, but it's just-as-well.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the annual football game for plumbers?

The Toilet Bowl.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe a fish when it does things very well?

A fish in sea.

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What is one result of inflation?

Goodbye to good buys.

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What is built into the walls at Microsoft headquarters?

Microsoft windows.

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What's another name for computer generated music?

Algo-rhythm.

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Does therapy often cost a lot?

Yes, but you can keep the change.

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Why was the family alarmed when grandma got up from her rocking chair?

Because she was off her rocker.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you say about a bagel with a very large hole?

It's hole is bigger than the sum of its parts.

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