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What will happen if the San Andreas Fault causes an earthquake?

It will be covered by no-fault insurance.

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What kind of phone do prisoners use?

Cell phones.

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What do you call a collection for money to plant bushes?

A hedge fund.

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How did the rose deal with the challenges of life?

It always rose to the occasion.

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What do you call it when someone is envious of another person's ability to be as flexible as Jello?

Jello-sy.

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What is the land called where an acting troupe builds a stage?

A play ground.

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If a pineapple is a collection of fused berries, what is it called if a detached berry doesn't want to re-join the group?

It is refusing to refuse.

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What is it called when you 'burn the midnight oil' to stay awake studying for midterm exams?

Term oil.

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Why did Joe like working in the spring more than the fall?

He didn't like being the fall guy.

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What part of the Talmud has to do with carbonated drinks?

Talmud Sota from Talmud Bubbly, studied at the Coca Kollel, as they sing Mizmor le Soda.

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What do labor unions have to do with your son's friends sleeping over?

Boy cots.

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What is the trend called where people take pieces of coal with them on dates?

Carbon dating.

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