Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Why did the employee make sure he never signed his name twice?

He was concerned that if he re-signed, he'd be out of a job.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a holy man who walks barefoot and has bad breath from fasting so much?

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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Akiva Lane
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What happens to the toy drones that start by themselves?

They're flying off the shelves.

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Akiva Lane
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What was done wrong here?

Someone put all their eggs in one basket.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Maxine like using coupons that could be torn out of magazines?

She thought they were a rip-off.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you say to a friend who is trying to uproot a tree

I'm rooting for you.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a farmer who makes medicine from the food he grows?

A farmacist.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of glue do Eskimos use to hold their ice houses together?

Ig glue.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the frayed knot answer when it was asked to do something?

It said, "I'm afraid not."

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Akiva Lane
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What do students in 12th grade have in common with people in an old-age home?

They are both seniors.

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Akiva Lane
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If a gun had children, who would they be?

Well, the boy would be a son of a gun.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jill buy a Jiffy car?

Because she wanted to go places and come back in a jiffy.

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