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Akiva Lane
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Where do you go when it's night and you're in bed and you're tired?

You go to sleep.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't the two gangs have their scheduled showdown?

Because one gang didn't show up.

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Akiva Lane
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What does eating hot food and sneezing have in common?

They are both hot chews.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the magician do when he was very tired?

He drank coffee, and that did the trick.

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Akiva Lane
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What Italian dish is similar to New York City in the summer?

Baked City.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the Curtis family feel after they had a pet bear for a month?

They couldn't bear it any more.

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How did Martha feel about going back to work on Monday?

It was a weak day.

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What is the opposite of an 'out voice', and what must be done with it?

An invoice, and it must be paid.

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Why did Ben drink Maxwell House coffee before he went parachute jumping?

He wanted to be good to the last drop.

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Why was Amanda surprised that this perfume was so expensive?

She was told it was worth a red scent.

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If the second hand on a clock measures seconds, what does the first hand measure?

Either minutes or hours, but we're not sure.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you say about a person who sews together pieces of cloth into suits and dresses?

He has his work cut out for him.

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