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How is the way that cows chew their cud similar to letters to the editor?

They both involve feedback.

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Why did Jim's team always win the tug-of-war competitions?

They had a lot of pull.

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Why did the people playing poker surround themselves with bushes?

They wanted to hedge their bets.

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Why was the elephant that lived in Manhattan depressed?

It couldn't find work, so it felt ir-elephant.

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When Arnold found a well full of bees, why did he avoid it?

Because he wanted to be well.

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If two eyes are labeled A and B, what eye is smarter?

A Eye

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How is a bird similar to the wife of a miser?

They both go 'cheap, cheap'.

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How did cell phones get their name?

Because if we're not careful, they can imprison us.

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Why did Bill eat ice cream every day?

It cooled him down when so many things made his blood boil.

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How do you describe a fish when it does things very well?

A fish in sea.

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How is a head cold similar to a lot of traffic?

They're both congested.

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If the hole of a bagel is filled with black pepper, what is the result?

A black hole.

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