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What country is named after neck-wear?

Tie Land.

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How did the small piece of wood feel when there was nothing to do?

It was a little board.

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What is someone called who puts up gates in alleys?

Alley gater.

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How did the lawyers refer to the case of the pillow company being sued?

The pillow case.

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How did Bill feel when none of the off-switches for the lights worked?

He felt that they were all up-settings.

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What fish is married to an uncle?

Aunt Chovies

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What is the difference between an ox and an egg?

The yoke of the ox is outside, the yolk of the egg is inside.

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Why did Dan double the size of the pockets on his pants?

He was told that to afford everything, he needed deep pockets.

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Why did the rock band like playing on wide stages?

They liked having good bandwidth.

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What do you call a scientist who measures how big things are?

A size-mologist.

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When you put smart technology into a house, what does it become?

Aware house.

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Why did Sam invest in the perfume company?

It made a lot of scents.

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