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What is the owner of the chair store called?

The chairman.

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How do you describe that the bark of a tree doesn't taste as good as its fruit?

It's bark is worse than it's bite.

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How did Betty feel when the neighbor's dog barked at her whenever she walked by?

She felt hounded.

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What is the difference between starting a new job and eating hotdogs?

With one you try to pass muster, and with the other you pass the mustard.

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Why does the calendar have a good social life?

It has a lot of dates.

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Why did Joe race Fred to the punch-bowl at the party?

He wanted to beat him to the punch.

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What was it like during the thunderstorm on the camping trip?

It was intense in the tents.

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If you can get 100 somethings for a penny today, how sure can you be that this will be the price tomorrow?

One hundred per cent.

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What finger does a card-shark use to manipulate the card deck?

The in-decks finger.

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What is the study of water faucets called?

Spigotry.

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What did the clock repairman say when you asked when the talking clock will be fixed?

Time will tell.

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If you put blue berries deep in the ground, what are they called?

Very buried berries.

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