Pictures:

What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Their middle name.

993

What gets wetter the more it dries.

A towel.

979

When does Friday come before Thursday?

In the dictionary.

992

Why didn't Joe buy camouflage trousers at the store?

He couldn't find them.

958

What 5 letter word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?

The word 'short'.

988

What is blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

974

What has a head and a tail but no body?

A coin.

975

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because it felt crummy.

962

Why did the reporter go into the ice cream parlor?

He wanted the inside scoop.

968

Why is it hard to organize a professional hide-and-seek tournament?

Good players are hard to find.

972

Why didn't Bill use his photographic memory?

He never developed it.

961

Why did the shoes cross the road?

Because the chicken was wearing them.

996