Pictures:

What 5 letter word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?

The word 'short'.

988

Why did the reporter go into the ice cream parlor?

He wanted the inside scoop.

968

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

Because it's pointless.

971

What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Their middle name.

993

What starts with a T and ends with a T and has T in it?

A teapot.

991

When does Friday come before Thursday?

In the dictionary.

992

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because it felt crummy.

962

Why is it hard to organize a professional hide-and-seek tournament?

Good players are hard to find.

972

What gets wetter the more it dries.

A towel.

979

What do you call shoes made of banana peels?

A pair of slippers.

970

Why did the shoes cross the road?

Because the chicken was wearing them.

996

What has a head and a tail but no body?

A coin.

975