Pictures:

What 5 letter word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?

The word 'short'.

988

What starts with P and ends with E and has thousands of letters.

Post Office.

956

Why didn't Bill use his photographic memory?

He never developed it.

961

Why is it hard to organize a professional hide-and-seek tournament?

Good players are hard to find.

972

What did the lawyer wear to work?

A lawsuit.

969

Why did Barry get heartburn when he ate the birthday cake?

He forgot to take off the candles.

963

Why did the shoes cross the road?

Because the chicken was wearing them.

996

What is blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

974

How do trash collectors learn their trade?

They pick things up as they go along.

973

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

Because it's pointless.

971

When does Friday come before Thursday?

In the dictionary.

992

What happened to the magician driving down the street?

He turned into a driveway.

966