Pictures:

What 5 letter word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?

The word 'short'.

988

What is blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

974

What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Their middle name.

993

When does Friday come before Thursday?

In the dictionary.

992

What is full of holes but still can hold a lot of water?

A sponge.

967

Why did Arlene bring lipstick and eye shadow to school?

She had a make-up exam.

957

What season is it when you are on a trampoline?

Spring time.

995

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

Because it's pointless.

971

Why did the shoes cross the road?

Because the chicken was wearing them.

996

Why did Barry get heartburn when he ate the birthday cake?

He forgot to take off the candles.

963

What invention lets you look through a wall?

A window.

960

What gets wetter the more it dries.

A towel.

979