Pictures:

When does Friday come before Thursday?

In the dictionary.

992

What gets wetter the more it dries.

A towel.

979

What has a head and a tail but no body?

A coin.

975

Why did Barry get heartburn when he ate the birthday cake?

He forgot to take off the candles.

963

Why didn't Joe buy camouflage trousers at the store?

He couldn't find them.

958

What begins and ends with E but has only one letter?

Envelope.

950

Why did the shoes cross the road?

Because the chicken was wearing them.

996

What is blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

974

What do you call a train carrying bubble gum?

A chew-chew train.

959

What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Their middle name.

993

What 5 letter word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?

The word 'short'.

988

What starts with a T and ends with a T and has T in it?

A teapot.

991