Pictures:

What gets wetter the more it dries.

A towel.

979

Why did Arlene bring lipstick and eye shadow to school?

She had a make-up exam.

957

How do trash collectors learn their trade?

They pick things up as they go along.

973

What 5 letter word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?

The word 'short'.

988

Why didn't Joe buy camouflage trousers at the store?

He couldn't find them.

958

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

990

Why did the reporter go into the ice cream parlor?

He wanted the inside scoop.

968

Why did Barry get heartburn when he ate the birthday cake?

He forgot to take off the candles.

963

What starts with a T and ends with a T and has T in it?

A teapot.

991

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because it felt crummy.

962

What invention lets you look through a wall?

A window.

960

What begins and ends with E but has only one letter?

Envelope.

950