Pictures:

What 5 letter word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?

The word 'short'.

988

Why did Arlene bring lipstick and eye shadow to school?

She had a make-up exam.

957

When does Friday come before Thursday?

In the dictionary.

992

Why did Barry get heartburn when he ate the birthday cake?

He forgot to take off the candles.

963

Why didn't Bill use his photographic memory?

He never developed it.

961

When Bobby threw a ball as hard as he could, why did it just come back to him?

He threw it up in the air.

989

Why did the shoes cross the road?

Because the chicken was wearing them.

996

What has a head and a tail but no body?

A coin.

975

What invention lets you look through a wall?

A window.

960

What is full of holes but still can hold a lot of water?

A sponge.

967

What starts with a T and ends with a T and has T in it?

A teapot.

991

What do you call a train carrying bubble gum?

A chew-chew train.

959