Pictures:

What 5 letter word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?

The word 'short'.

988

What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Their middle name.

993

What do you call shoes made of banana peels?

A pair of slippers.

970

What starts with P and ends with E and has thousands of letters.

Post Office.

956

Why did Arlene bring lipstick and eye shadow to school?

She had a make-up exam.

957

Why did the shoes cross the road?

Because the chicken was wearing them.

996

What invention lets you look through a wall?

A window.

960

When does Friday come before Thursday?

In the dictionary.

992

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because it felt crummy.

962

When Bobby threw a ball as hard as he could, why did it just come back to him?

He threw it up in the air.

989

Why did Barry get heartburn when he ate the birthday cake?

He forgot to take off the candles.

963

If you threw a white stone into the Red Sea, what would it become?

Wet.

994