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What is similar between estimates and baseball players?

They both involve ball park figures.

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Why did the employee make sure he never signed his name twice?

He was concerned that if he re-signed, he'd be out of a job.

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What is a factory that packages eggs called?

An egg plant.

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Why was the carpet depressed?

It felt a lack of respect because everyone walked all over it.

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What can you take when you are hot?

You can take a shower, a bath, or a swim.

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How is time like an insect?

It tends to creep up on you.

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What is a newspaper that puts you asleep called?

The snooze news.

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Why didn't Bill talk about his skin rash?

It was a senstive topic.

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Why did Arlene dislike washing the dishes?

It gave her a sinking feeling.

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When Arnold found a well full of bees, why did he avoid it?

Because he wanted to be well.

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How did the inventor of the Jack-In-The-Box come up with invention?

He used out-of-the-box thinking.

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What do you call a family that has generations of restaurants?

A dine-asty.

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